I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
