that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
