Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize