What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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