I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
