I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
