I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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