Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
