Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
