On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
