You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
one might say we're banned from that church
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
