If that was your dad, he is hot
I wish I only lived at night.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i wish my penis had a tongue
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize