Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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