My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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