At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
