a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
ttyl tear gas
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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