I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
