Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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