tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
