I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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