Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
