the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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