If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
