I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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