I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
