I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
