white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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