The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
