She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
