apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
