Where are you?
In a non slutty way
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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