She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
