You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
