did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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