my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
