She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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