I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
