I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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