I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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