I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
