I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
