remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
