I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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