Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
