I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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