I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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