I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
