If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I believe in your delicious
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
