Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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