She's JV to your varsity
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
