is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
