So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My dick has a subreddit
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
