I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
