I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You're a waste of cheezeits
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
