just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
