Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize