I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
