you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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