no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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