I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
