I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize