:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
