hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
